POWDER

I posted a few seconds ago but I need to get this out of my system.
I work at a movie rental store now and wednesday while I was organizing movies on the shelves I stumbled across this movie, I recognized it instantly from my childhood!

I saw this when I was like 10 at my momoms and I remember it leaving me with significant feelings I cant really place.
Im going to rent this and watch it sometime, hopefully it'll be as good as my childhood remembers it.

reborn!

so I deleted all the posts I had previously posted because they were pathetic and sucky and other terrible adjectives(except for some sketch posts).
I want to forget the part of my life from the start of summer 2007 to october 2007. as far as I am concerned it never existed, it was just an effed up time that I wish to forget
many things have changed since then.

1. the big one, I am no longer a MICA student. technically I am on LEAVE OF ABSENCE but I am about 95% sure that I won't be going back. I'll transfer somewhere but I don't know where yet, for now I start community college classes on monday
...

2. I am home. obviously. this was the best decision for me, I said I wanted to live in the city and that was what drew me to MICA. but who was I kidding, city life is NOT my element. especially city life in Baltimore. maybe I can take it in small doses but living like that coupled with the stress of college is not healthy for me or anyone really. home is nice and peaceful and SAFE.

3. I am healthy. mentally and physically. I haven't had a nervous breakdown or sleepless night since I left. I am closer to my emotional support network of friends and family and I feel great!


...
to say I am not bitter about leaving MICA is a lie, I AM bitter, but I have mostly gotten over my feelings of failure and self-loathing. its just that once I got into highschool I immediately assumed I would follow an artistic career and further my education in the arts by going to an arts university. I felt that was my only calling and that I would only succeed in being someone by having a career in the arts. now I have learned that is truly not the case, I can be passionate about something but it doesn't have to be my career.
I'm thinking of going into library science, I think i'd enjoy being a librarian and I've found a few colleges with library science programs, also the faculty at the community college will be able to help me transfer over to any university when I want to.
there is so much more on my mind but I will save it for later posts

Da Funk!!!!

I can't stop listening to this song...aaaaaaaah

so I did this a few days ago with cadmium red liquitex acrylic paint <3! and black sumi ink (with a nib no doubt)
the girl in the foreground is inspired by the DVD of the movie Hard Candy which I would like to seeee!

black!
my birthday is tomorrow! yay 19! oh shit, in another year I'll be two decades old! i just realized that.

rhino baby

just a sketch done in my moleskin!!! sketchbook woo!

the rabbits!

so today my coworker Ashley brought in this book she thought I would like. Her boyfriend gave it to her and I guess she thought I would appreciate it more so she gave it to me
the book is called "The Rabbits" and is illustrated by Shaun Tan


I am so impressed by the illustrations! I love the style and the vibrancy of the colors, the illustrations are very expressive and bold and so juicy! I think I'll try to paint again tonight, these illustrations have really inspired me! I've been in a painting funk for a while and its high time I kick myself out of it.

sketch 1

this was actually a sketch from my sculpture class this past semester, I thought it would be a nice start to this blog
yay for nuggetamals!
but not really, I would never want this to happen in real life